Book Excerpt HOW TO WRITE A DICK: A Guide to Writing Fictional Sleuths from a Couple of Real-Life Sleuths

Today I'm posting an excerpt from a nonfiction ebook I co-authored with my former PI partner (now an attorney).  This sample describes the work, background and mind-set of a PI who specializes in intellectual property investigations, including two real-life case examples from our private detective agency.

Intellectual Property Investigations

Intellectual property seems to be the buzz word of the day.  It sounds ethereal, brainy, yet concrete -- like the stuff Albert Einstein might have kept in his garage.  But what is it, really?  The following facts comprise a legal definition of Intellectual property in the United States:

  • It describes a wide variety of property created by musicians, authors, artists, scientists, business people and inventors.
  • The federal law of intellectual property encompasses the areas of copyright, patent and trademark laws.
  • Its principles are designed to encourage the development of art, science and information by granting property rights to creative and inventive people.  These rights allow artists and inventors to protect themselves from infringement (which is the unauthorized use and misuse of their creations).
  • Protection of intellectual property is not a recent thing. The U.S. Constitution authorizes congress to grant patents and copyrights, while the Commerce Clause authorizes congress to regulate trademarks and acts of unfair competition.  The states also retain concurrent power to regulate intellectual property unless preempted by federal law.

The International Chamber of Commerce (ICC) defines intellectual property in the following statement:

Intellectual property is a product of the intellect which is owned by an individual or an organization who can then choose to share it freely or to control its use in certain ways. Intellectual property is found almost everywhere - in creative works like books, films, records, music, art and software and in everyday objects like cars, computers, drugs and varieties of plants, all of which have been developed thanks to advances in science and technology. The distinctive features which help us choose the products we buy, like brand names and designs, can fall within the scope of intellectual property. Even the place of origin of a product can have rights attached to it, as is the case with Champagne and Gorgonzola. Much of what we see and use on the Internet, be it a web page or a domain name, also includes or represents some form of intellectual property.

Some statistics claim counterfeit products account for approximately 8 percent of world trade, an incredible $200 billion dollars a year (some even bump up that figure to $600 billion). Sophisticated counterfeiting syndicates often include individuals who are connected with the brand owner.

An investigator specializing in this field might:

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  • Conduct undercover field activity to identify product counterfeiting operations and other unauthorized activities at the manufacturing, distribution and retail levels.
  • Ascertain the ID, background and associations of violators as well as their sources/methods of operation.
  • Assist intellectual property attorneys to guide their clients in transactions involving intellectual property acquisition, development, protection and enforcement.
  • Consult on brand protection strategies.
  • Gather intelligence in intellectual property litigation.
  • Conduct due diligence on suppliers, distributors and third-party manufacturers.
  • Perform market surveys and market monitoring.
  • Analyze/quantify loss.

Intellectual Property Case 1: Trapping an eBay Counterfeiter

At our investigative agency, we participated in a nationwide sting on an eBay counterfeiter who was boldly re-selling a major pharmaceutical company’s products.  We say boldly because this individual was actively and openly advertising the products on a website as well as on eBay.  In a coordinated sting operation, different PIs in selected locales around the U.S. made undercover purchases of the counterfeited products over a short period.  Afterward, each of us forwarded documentation of the purchases and any written documentation, including notarized affidavits of the same, to the law firm representing the pharmaceutical company.  Although we haven’t followed the outcome of the legal hearings, we don’t see this individual hawking these counterfeit products anymore!

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Intellectual Property Case 2: Documenting Franchise Infringement

A national law firm contacted our agency and asked us to document a local health club that had ceased paying the national franchise office for the use of its business concepts, symbols, designs and software and yet was continuing to use all of those items for their exclusive profit. After entering the health club, Colleen used surreptitious means (tiny cameras built into a clothes item to record items in the club) while Shaun undertook a trial workout.

While the club owner trained Shaun on the equipment, Colleen strolled around the public area of the club, recording possible infringements of the franchise-business logos, procedures, use of the same equipment and she was even able to record the manager’s computer that proudly displayed “protected corporate software” from the franchisor still in use by the rogue franchisee.  Because we were on commercial property, upon which we were invited guests, all of our surreptitious documentation was legally obtained.

The result: the breakaway business renegotiated their arrangement with the franchisor, returned to the fold, and Shaun did not have a heart attack.

If you’re writing a story with a crime involving intellectual property, check out the following sites and publications:

Writer’s Slant: If Your PI Specializes in Intellectual Property Investigations, Think About

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  • What kinds of strategies they would develop for entering businesses and documenting their activities. Posing as a pharmaceutical customer or a potential health club member creates interesting possibilities for someone who has little familiarity with such things in their “real life.”
  • How your PI gains knowledge of complex formulas and “acts” like they know something about matters as diverse as counterfeit DVDs, toys, drug compounds or tour t-shirts for rock bands.
  • How your fictional PI documents intellectual property infringement (for example, does he wear an “undercover buttonhole spy camera” or carry a backpack with a tiny camera and video recorder built into the satchel?).
  • How your fictional PI will handle the danger and legal issues surrounding the fact that many counterfeiters also deal in “other” products such as narcotics or weapons while they produce and sell “benign” counterfeit items.  In November 2007, federal agents in Los Angeles arrested twelve persons involved in clothes counterfeiting and also recovered thirty kilograms of cocaine, miscellaneous firearms and $123,000.00 in cash (the money had been stuffed into a teddy bear).  This case involved a number of Arab co-defendants producing bell-bottom jeans, then investing the profits in exchange for cocaine and illegal firearms from the Mexican Mafia.  The feds called this “Operation Bell-Bottom.”  Talk about fodder for your story!

A Christmas Murder-Mystery Tale

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For readers who love online books and Christmas mystery ebooks, The Zen Man, a "21st-century Nick and Nora" tale, set between Christmas and New Year's Eve, is available on Amazon. “ I loved every single word of The Zen Man!” ~ Delores Fossen, USA Today Best-Selling Author

Online PR News – 16-December-2012The Zen Man is a mystery novel for people who love stories with thrills, humor and romance. Semifinalist Best Indie Books 2012, The Kindle Book Reviews

Book Blurb

Just as washed-up criminal defense attorney, life-long Deadhead and current private eye Rick Levine decides to get relicensed as a lawyer, he’s charged with killing one and ends up in the slammer with a half-mill bail. Released on bond, Rick and his girlfriend Laura have 30 days to find the real killer. In the course of their investigations, they dodge bullets, trumped-up charges and the FBI’s unwanted intervention...eventually learning that true redemption begins at home.

The Zen Man is available at Amazon as an ebook. No ereader? No problem. Amazon provides a free, easy-to-download app for reading the book on PCs, Macs and other devices. Amazon also makes it easy to give ebooks as gifts. The only requirements are that the purchaser have an Amazon account and an email address for the gift recipient.

To read a book excerpt, click here.

Praise for The Zen Man

"Move over Sam Spade, Nick and Nora; make room for a Denver who-dun-it, Colleen Collins’s The Zen Man. Brilliant and fast-paced writing. I couldn’t put it down." ~Donnell Ann Bell, Award-Winning Author of The Past Came Hunting

Rick Levine, former lawyer and current private eye in The Zen Man

Rick Levine, former lawyer and current private eye in The Zen Man

"A brilliant mystery novel...I eagerly await the return of the Zen Man." ~Becky Sherriff, The Kindle Book Review

"A fantastic read from start to finish. Reminded me a great deal of the works of Robert Crais and Robert B Parker." ~MacKenzie Brown

"What I didn't expect were the touches of romantic language, as delicate and erotic as a glance by Humphrey Bogart from under his hat. I also didn't expect the humorous touches in what is essentially one man's life-or-death fight to save his soul, his business and the love of his life." ~Bonnie Ramthun, multi-published mystery and YA author

"Not only do the pages fly by with the action and plot twists, but the characters will keep you guessing their next move as well. I was thoroughly entertained and can't wait to read the next installment of this fabulous gumshoe novel!" ~ Wendy Hines, Minding Spot book reviews

"As a fan of murder mystery suspense thrillers, The Zen Man was an entertaining whodunit that kept me entertained. From Rick's comedic personality, to the zen quotes and Deadhead references, to the intriguing clues and twists and turns, to the lighthearted romance, this story was simply a fun read!" ~Jersey Girl Book Reviews

The Next Big Thing: Discover New Authors & Books!

Authors Tagging Authors

The Next Big Thing is an around-the-world blog hop where authors of all genres tell readers about their next/recent book release in the course of answering 10 questions.  Each author has been tagged by another author to write a blog, and the current author then tags new authors who blog the following week.

I was tagged by my friend and talented author Cindi Myers, who posted her blog last week (click here to read it).  She also writes an informative marketing newsletter for writers, so check it out while at her site.

Tag, I'm It!

1) What is the working title of your next book? (or it can be your latest release)

The title of my next release (March 2013), interestingly enough, is The Next Right Thing.  Really, I didn't plan this.  It is available for pre-order at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other stores.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

Besides being a writer, I am a private investigator whose former PI-partner-husband is now a lawyer.  You might call me his live-in PI.  The Next Right Thing features a female PI whose main attorney-client is a man with whom she's been secretly in love for years.

What can I say?  Fiction can mirror life.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

I would call it a romantic mystery.   

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Sandra Bullock and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Lawyer Marc Hamilton needs private investigator Cammie Copello to crack a case that means the difference between his keeping his law practice and family together, or losing everything -- only problem, it's the same case that destroyed her career two years ago.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Published by Harlequin for their Super Romance series line.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

I polish as I write, so from first draft to final manuscript = 4-5 months.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Since I can't think of any recent novels that feature a legal thriller wrapped in a romance,  I'll compare this to the film Mr. and Mrs. Smith if they remade it into a romantic comedy.  Minus the assassin angle, of course.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I think I answered this in Question #2, above.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

It's set in Las Vegas, with a psychopathic drug-lordess secondary character who...no, I don't want to ruin the surprise.

I tagged these wonderful authors to carry on with The Next Big Thing.  Looking for great reads? Check them out!

B.V. Lawson: Former radio announcer, TV features writer, multi-published author and winner of the 2012 Derringer Award from the Short Mystery Fiction Society.

Nancy Wood: Mystery author of critically acclaimed Due Date and currently at work on her second book in the Shelby McDougall series, as well as a writing and business consultant.

Jan Moran: Best-selling author of Scent of Triumph, media spokesperson and brand communication consultant.  Her awards include a FiFi Award for Technological Innovation from The Fragrance Foundation, a Stevie Award, and a Cisco Growing with Technology honor.

David Swinson: After booking/promoting  such luminaries as Hunter S. Thompson, he became a highly decorated member of the Washington, D.C. metropolitan police department.  He's currently writing the second novel after his acclaimed novel A Detailed Man.

Praise for Colleen Collins's Books

“A must have for any writer serious about crafting authentic private eyes. Collins knows her stuff.” - Lori Wilde, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

"A brilliant mystery novel...I eagerly await the return of the Zen Man." ~Becky Sherriff, The Kindle Book Review

"Not only do the pages fly by with the action and plot twists, but the characters will keep you guessing their next move as well. I was thoroughly entertained and can't wait to read the next installment of this fabulous gumshoe novel!" ~ Wendy Hines, Minding Spot book reviews

"Make sure you have a few hours because the story will grab you and force you to keep reading(like any good story) until you are done. An excellent whodunit." ~Orlando Sanchez

"...a fast paced who-done-it that will keep you turning pages and guessing to the very end." ~E.A. Lewis

"What I didn't expect were the touches of romantic language, as delicate and erotic as a glance by Humphrey Bogart from under his hat." ~Bonnie Ramthun

"I loved this book. Living in Denver myself, I had fun recognizing certain areas in town - I can't wait to read the next one!" ~ V. Turner

 

 

​Four Kindle Gift Book Ideas for the Wannabe Sleuth or Crime/Mystery Reader

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Three nonfiction books for people who want to learn about the real world of private detectives, and a mystery novel for those who love stories with thrills, humor and romance.
"Collins knows her stuff."
~Lori Wilde, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

How to Write a Dick: A Guide for Writing Fictional Sleuths from a Couple of Real-Life Sleuths

This nonfiction research book for writers, co-authored with attorney and former investigator Shaun Kaufman, provides facts and guidance for novelists, scriptwriters and others who are crafting mystery, legal thriller or suspense stories. This book also appeals to readers who are simply curious about the techniques and tools of real-life private eyes. Topics include a history of private investigators; descriptions of various specialized fields and how to gain experience in them, from insurance investigations to white-collar crime investigations to pet detection; how private investigators conduct surveillances on foot and in vehicles; the basics of homicide investigations and how private investigators might be involved; a gumshoe glossary and much more.

“If you want authenticity in creating a fictional private investigator for your stories, then this is a must-have reference book. Its authors, Colleen and Shaun, are living, breathing PIs with years of actual experience in the PI game.” ~ R.T. Lawton, 25 years on the street as a federal special agent and author of 4 series in Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine

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This nonfiction book is useful for writers conducting research for mystery, thriller and suspense novels, as well as for readers interested in learning about real private detectives. The book provides dozens of articles on the art of private investigations, including case examples and a listing of recommended writers' and professional private investigators' sites. Topics include how to locate missing persons, how to find cell phone numbers, tips for catching cheating spouses, where to access free online research sites, techniques for conducting successful witness interviews, tips for investigating white-collar crime and more.

“A must have for any writer serious about crafting authentic private eyes. Collins knows her stuff.” ~ Lori Wilde, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

"Real-life private investigator Colleen Collins spills the beans."
~The Thrilling Detective

 

Secrets of a Real-Life Female Private Eye

A nonfiction, no-holes-barred, modern-day story about life in the female PI fast lane.  Sample topics include:

  • History of the Pinkerton National Detective Agency and its hiring of the first U.S. female private eye, Kate Warne
  • Advantages and dangers of being a current-day female P.I.
  • Tools of the trade, including interactive crime maps, Google maps, investigative equipment and smartphone apps
  • Case examples, from ghost hunting to criminal investigations
  • Investigative tips, such as how to find lost pets, handy Google searches, where to locate court files, ways to defeat a cyberstalker, and how to send an untraceable email
  • Overview of three classic TV female private eyes
  • Links to additional articles about private investigations
  • P.I. blogs, periodicals and websites
  • Excerpts from HOW DO PRIVATE EYES DO THAT? and HOW TO WRITE A DICK: A GUIDE FOR WRITING FICTIONAL SLEUTHS FROM A COUPLE OF REAL-LIFE SLEUTHS

“As an experienced private detective and a skilled storyteller, Colleen Collins is the perfect person to offer a glimpse into the lives of real female P.I.s”
~Kim Green, managing editor of Pursuit Magazine: The Magazine of Professional Investigators

"Colleen Collins's chronicle about her investigative career is completely authentic. She brings her real-world P.I. stories to your e-reader straight from the streets!"
~ Shaun Kaufman, former P.I. and managing partner, Shaun Kaufman Law

“SECRETS OF A REAL-LIFE FEMALE PRIVATE EYE is a research must-have.”
~Holly Jacobs, award-winning author of Steamed, featuring amateur sleuth Quincy Mac

Semifinalist Best Indie Books of 2012, The Kindle Book Reviews
BookRooster Reviewers Top Picks 2013

Just as washed-up criminal defense attorney, life-long Deadhead (nickname “The Zen Man”), and current PI Rick Levine decides to get relicensed as a lawyer, he’s charged with killing one and ends up in the slammer with a half-mil bail.

Released on bond, Rick and his girlfriend Laura have 30 days to find the real killer. In the course of their investigations, they dig for dirt among Denver’s shady legal backrooms to its tony corporate centers. Dodging bullets, a kidnapping, trumped-up charges and the FBI's unwanted intervention, Rick and Laura continue tracking key suspects who have motive...eventually learning that true redemption begins at home.

“I loved every single word of The Zen Man!”
~ Delores Fossen, USA Today Best-selling Author

"Move over Sam Spade, Nick and Nora; make room for a Denver who-dun-it, Colleen Collins’s The Zen Man. Brilliant and fast-paced writing. I couldn’t put it down."
~ Donnell Ann Bell, Award-Winning Author of The Past Came Hunting

"A brilliant mystery novel...I eagerly await the return of the Zen Man."
~Becky Sherriff, The Kindle Book Review